Why people hate New Yorkers, Exhibit D.  Holy smug condescension Batman.

May burst of pride

My favorite comedian made a joke

Chipotle's salt now has rice in it!

— Mike Birbiglia (@birbigs) February 10, 2012

very similar to one I had previously made.

11/3:  [insert vicious hair-scorching invective here]  &^@#% LinkedIn.  My friend who runs IT security at a FS firm has confirmed via rigorous testing that it:
-- mines members' facebook accounts for connections (friends lists, and friends' friends - at least, if not deeper: he's still experimenting on that).  Unclear whether vice versa - he's working on it;
-- tracks your google searches, then later puts YOU on your search targets' "PEOPLE YOU MAY KNOW" section (if you are logged into LinkedIn at the time; not yet proven whether it happens even if you aren't); and
-- (if you are so gullible, like me, as to let it "sign in" to your eg gmail account:) EVEN IF you do not select to link to Person X, LinkedIn KEEPS PERSON X'S NAME + CONTACT, and puts you in the "PEOPLE YOU MAY KNOW" not only of Person X but of all of Person X's LinkedIn connections, out to at least the 2nd degree (3rd degree suspected but not yet proven).  Delightful result in my instance:   my stalker, from whom I'd successfully hidden for some time, viewed my profile today and now knows what city I'm in and where I work.  I *really* need to get a new job now, stat.
      -- EVEN BETTER:  even if you delete your LinkedIn account in a rage, LinkedIn will keep your name, full profile info & contacts, and permit people to search for you and ask to connect with you.  (Presumably the above activities continue as well.)
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11/2: "This is the second time I'm going to ask this today, sir: why is your hand up my shirt?!" - Ava, to new sound guy
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11/1: "Wait - other people can see you?" - Brittany
"There's a bee in my bonnet, and that bee's name is government waste." - Sue
"...except on Facebook, and even then it takes years." - Finn
OMG let the Irish dude sing. Listen to that honeyed baritone. ETA ah, there ya go. Adorable.
"Why couldn't she have wished for Lord Tubbington to quit smoking?" -- Brittany, of course.  I do have a favorite.
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10/31: Even now, as often as it happens (like just now, twice), every time I see a not-obviously-of-Asian-descent person using chopsticks to eat food rather than to stick them in their mouths like buckteeth while pulling up the corners of their eyes and making ching-chong noises at me, I am filled with fondness and gratitude, having grown up around people who did not miss one opportunity, however slight, to point out how different/abnormal/inferior I was compared to them and mock me for it. *not still emotionally & psychologically affected by this as an adult, or anything* Seriously I am just realizing that this may be the reason that nothing, nothing, probably not even homicidal tendencies, will turn me off to a person faster & more irrevocably than anything even resembling mockery.
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10/30: Interviewer: Why did you stay away from this kind of character for so long?
Eddie Murphy: I was trying to anger my audience.
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10/29: Still watching Person of Interest. Still entertaining enough, if still too exposition-y especially in first showing us the mark-of-the-week. Also, Reese is ex-CIA; he'd use military alphabet, not "Greg, Henry"; it's so unlike these guys to get such a detail wrong. :/

Sometimes you put a pebble in your mouth and it turns out to be a candy, and its sweetness is so much the greater for having been unexpected. That's how I feel about the Cardinals winning the World Series. In fact Game 6 was somehow sweeter even than Game 7. (loved Freese quote after Game 7: "[I slept] 45 minutes last night, at like 8am. I didn't really understand what was going on." and his continued dazed humility and lip-chewing uncertainty even while hoisting his MVP trophy.) Same with 2006 NLCS Game 7 vs the WS, 2001 WS Game 4...etc. Funny how that is...must be that they're laced with the promise of more to come.
:(
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10/28: Today, dude on sidewalk: "Why'd you break up the Beatles?" Welcome to the United States, New York City, 2011. (Almost as fun as the normal-looking dude in my subway stairwell the other day who said politely as I passed by, some animal instinct keeping me from breaking my stride: "Excuse me, I want to take a video of myself jacking off. Would you mind holding the camera?") I do love men, really, a lot, as anyone who knows me knows. It's just the few.

Clearly the best coverage of the truly unbelievable, unforgettable Game 6.
- "Part of the magic of Mariano is the placid look, the slumped shoulders, as if this is all just a formality, as if he had already saved the game a few hours before and is only performing it once more for those people who missed it."
- "(La Russa had run out of bench players, of course)" LOL
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10/27: "He's going to be exhausted from smoldering all evening." - M, about E

"I'm number 8, between HG Wells and Billy Joel. Who ARE these people?" - Ava, UAN

"Hey guys. Good news: whatever I have, is NOT from the bird I kissed!" - Alex, HE
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10/25: Stepped back in time again tonight. Duck to water. Struck again by the microcosm-of-life lessons. Such as: the ones that look fantastic, tons of flash and style (eg: Brian [fedora, black shirt], & "COCAINE" tshirt guy) are usually more fun to watch than to dance with. :)

Notes so I remember for next time:

Michael J: You've known this guy before and the first time he was called Larry O'Keefe. They even kinda look alike for goodness' sake. RUN. RUN SCREAMING. *doesn't* *of course* *can't keep eyes off* *will probably follow around like a puppy* Seriously though: loose as a goose, with style and attitude to burn. Irresistible. Watch & learn.

Rivers Cuomo looking guy with Wes pants (Todd? Tom?): tight, precise j-bug/charleston style, GREAT FEET, great musicality, happy, even *laughing*, genuinely engaged & in-tune with follow. Very pleasing.

Cory (hat, white t): LOVE. Solid (in every sense), felt very in-good-hands, pays attention and adjusts, lead just right firmness. Limited variations, but might have been d.t. not knowing whether I'd know them?

Shay? Chad? (navy shirt, looks like a quarterback): gentle lead and meticulous technique (esp @ the cutback on 5&6 of closed circle 8-count, didn't fling me backwards into the wall). Seems new; promising. Height difference kinda prohibitive though... too bad...

Matt (Scott A. lookalike, maroon shirt): newbie, more enthusiasm than skill, a little bossy, bit too forceful, no sense of musicality (yet?), easily distracted/thrown off by my styling, but clearly learns quickly, obviously super cute, smells awesome, incongruous intriguing faint geekiness lurking around the edges of his personality. Continued investigation is warranted :D

Mark Zuckerberg looking guy (striped shirt): nice low & loose unorthodox gumby-legged style, but seems a little rhythmically sloppy and a very big fan of himself.

Laugh if you will, but the sight of lower Manhattan and the river under a pale ceramic sky scudded over by loads of Simpsons clouds squishes my heart at least as much as anything I saw on vac. Reminded me of the Mercedes commercial that ran just after 9/11 that made me cry: dramatic shots of various wonderful destinations intercut with descriptive caption cards, followed by a Mercedes coming into New York followed by the cards: "but it's nice to come home. // We understand. We live here too.". Yeah, I cried, big whoop, wanna fight about it?

Amazing. But like clockwork, at the week mark, homesickness sets in. I love my city.

I also don't believe in astrology, but the amount of pleasure I take just from being OUT on the water, say, on a cooling late-September night, has to be a few SDs above the mean for non-Pisceans.

Saturday observations

(1) Either the UWS has gotten drastically worse in the past 3 years, or I admire my past self for putting up with this horror show for so long.

(2) I was...skeptical of Pitt as Beane, and his version was definitely less tightly-wound and lacked BB's scary flintiness, but damn if he didn't get his physicality down COLD -- the walk, the head angles, the just-a-little-above-it-all upper-body language. Reminded me, of course, of Sandra Bullock's frighteningly dead-on Tuohy impression. Impressive

(3) Was retroactively upset about G. It's ok. It's all good. I just do a little better each time.

By more than one person I've been teased that I'm a guy, falling in love 100x a day as I do.  Today's latest = Paragon guy who helped me pick snowboard boots, gave lots of advice, explained the inscrutable mechanics of its various fancy BOA features at least four times with no noticeable annoyance (I *still* don't totally get the wheel thing - will have to go home & practice), flung about a huge vocabulary, *ran* to get the special BOA tools to fix something with them that wasn't entirely broken, all in a package of bashful, shaggy cross between Scott Foley and old-school Jim Halpert, couldn't have been cuter if he were holding a puppy. THIS IS WHAT WOMEN LIKE, GUYS ...be polite, brainy, patient, and good at something. It's not that hard.
ETA I've been instructed to add "Also, be 25." lulz

We agree about everything, as usual (except still haven't gotten to Brushstroke so dunno).  lu uh uv Bemelmans.

Unrelated:  I don't know why people bother telling lies that are disprovable with little to no effort. :/ and furthermore :(

ok this is just getting silly.  I was just told by [grammar disaster alert WEEOOWEEOO] a fifth different person today, "you're the best" .  I know this is a generic and common phrase, but sometimes I think there is something floating in the air that makes lots of people act/think/talk the same way.  This reminds me of the last time TCC descended upon NY and everyone we encountered was really rude, and I mean sort of melodramatically to the degree that at one point I wondered if we were all unwittingly on a Boiling Points-type hidden-camera prank show.  In the former case, I think it's the nice weather + impending holiday wkd.  In the latter, I have no explanation, as we are all exceptionally charming and polite people.

Birds somehow at once convey an air of critical condescension and the impression of very limited intelligence. I find this extremely hilarious even in the most ordinary situation, let alone delightful aberrations like this.

Tonight was a leisurely High Line stroll with lovely company, which included observing a cartoon-looking Saturn through a telescope, which was unreasonably exciting and which prompted extended lively conversation with various strangers about how tiny we are (meaning both Earth and us as individual humans), how amazing the universe is, ETs, and the afterlife. Everyone in such a good mood. Another night to make one love NY to the point of pain.

Got screamed at at length by a comically good-looking cop for flagrantly, if not entirely prepensely, disregarding the police lines that had been set up due to the crazy pole climbing guy.  My responding unperturbedly and smilingly to the cop (I have been feeling very Fred Kwan this am for no reason known to me) seemed to enrage him further. What can I say; I have a gift.

Big topic of convo in the pantry.   Co-workers' comments:
-- "I think they should just hit him with a stick."
-- about the rumor that the pole-climber, apparently an aspiring musician, handed one of the cops his promo CD and said he wouldn't come down til MTV played it:  "Not a bad idea, but [the pole] really isn't high enough.  YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG."

Solstice + nearby construction beginning at obscene hour + people blasting music out of their cars at even more obscene hours = my bedroom has become a de facto huge walk-in closet. I may start sleeping in the hallway. Urban apt life is sooo glamorous.

I shouldn't complain though: this nice lil injury is making me so so so grateful for the depth & width, available uniquely to citydwellers, of resources & conveniences. POSITIVITY

The hydrangeas in Mad Sq Park are SHOUTING and waving their pom poms. It's hard to look away.

Hang of GarageBand being gotten, grudgingly. Shopping list: a pickup, replacement midi cable for keyboard, and I am guessing someone somewhere would be happy to trade me money for more tracks and more instruments. I NEED HORNS

Extremely obvious superior feature that I only just realized: does not require a lap; can be held at any crazy angle and manipulated blackberry-style, as I am doing right now. I hadn't identified this fact as such (thought it was just aesthetics mostly) but I think this is the #1 reason I do indeed to my surprise take it places I wouldn't my netbook, viz., everywhere, especially thanks to my beloved yummy Tags.

How about watching the road, buddy.

I'm in a store that deems a $25,000 household item (and its twice-as-large but otherwise identical only $5,000 more! WHAT A BARGAIN! GRAB IT!! version) too trifling to need to be put under glass, let alone lock-and-key. WHAT AM I DOING HERE?

Something smells so good in this park (candy? Flowers? Candied flowers? What on earth...) that I have lost my mind and I just hope someone turns it in.

Savoring the Vancouver feeling. I think I will read outside under a tree.