I don't think I appreciate Amy Poehler enough on the whole; her delivery of below deserves some kind of medal.

"One time, when I was in high school, a guy's mom called me and broke up with me FOR him.

"There was another time, where I was on a date and I tripped and broke my kneecap, and the guy said he wasn't 'feelin' it', so he left, and I waited for an ambulance.

One time I was dating this guy for a while, and then he got down on one knee and he begged me to never call him again.

One guy broke up with me while we were in the shower together.

[MY PERSONAL FAVORITE =>] Skywriting isn't always positive.

Another time, a guy invited me to a beautiful picnic, with wine and flowers, and then when I tried to sit down, he said, 'Don't eat anything - Rebecca's coming.' And THEN he broke up with me."