Tina Fey book amahzing.

Let’s talk about the hair. Why do I call it “yellow” hair and not “blond” hair? Because I’m pretty sure everybody calls my hair “brown.” When I read fairy tales to my daughter I always change the word “blond” to “yellow,” because I don’t want her to think that blond hair is somehow better.

My daughter has a reversible doll: Sleeping Beauty on one side and Snow White on the other. I would always set it on her bed with the Snow White side out and she would toddle up to it and flip the skirt over to Sleeping Beauty. I would flip it back and say, “Snow White is so pretty.” She would yell, “No!” and flip it back. I did this experiment so frequently and consistently that I should have applied for government funding. The result was always the same. When I asked her why she didn’t like Snow White, she told me, “I don’t like her hair.” Not even three years old, she knew that yellow hair is king. And, let’s admit it, yellow hair does have magic powers. You could put a blond wig on a hot-water heater and some dude would try to fuck it. Snow White is better looking. I hate to stir up trouble among the princesses, but take away the hair and Sleeping Beauty is actually a little beat.

Few things gratify me as much as people who are smarter & funnier than I saying things I've said before.  In college, when a boyfriend cheated on me (two days after manipulating an "I love you" out of me rather against my will) with a yellow-haired woman, a small (mixed-gender) group of well-meaning friends kept telling me how (to use Fey's word) 'beat' she was, which was objectively true (I kid. But it was true), and I said, "But you know, you could put a blond wig on a dachshund and most guys would want to f*** it."  Swear.  (Ask LAC- she probably remembers- she laughed so hard she cried.)  No one even tried to rebut. (Of course, many women have an equally ridiculous prejudice regarding men which I am proud to say I do not share [although maybe I shouldn't give myself too much credit as maybe the only reason I don't care is that I'm rather short]: tallness, as everybody knows.)