Dear Miss Manners: When eating, is it better manners to stab your food or scoop it up with your fork?

If your food is not still alive, there is no excuse for stabbing it. And if it is still alive, Miss Manners hopes you will use a scoop, rather than a fork, to return it to its habitat.

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Hilarious, but evades the question the Gentle Reader is (I assume) obviously really asking: is it okay to *calmly* spear one's food to bring it to one's mouth? or must it be used like a spoon at that time? (As for before then, surely she doesn't expect one to use the underside of the "bowl" of the fork to attempt to hold down one's steak with one hand while savagely sawing away at it with a knife in the other.) if so, I don't care- I eat continental, don't want to change, am not ambidextrous and am *not* wobble-scooping my food all over my lap and onto the floor.