omg NBA are you seriously still happening?

Jesse [to Finn]: Most of the other guys in here are better singers [than you], and Mike Chang, who can't even sing, can at least dance. You kind of sing and dance like a zombie who has to poop.

Howard: Do I get a supervillain nickname?
Sue: Your nickname is Panda Express.
Howard: But I'm not Chinese.
Sue: Neither is the food at Panda Express.

Jesse: I took a class at UCLA in judging for reality tv shows, so I'm totally ready to give feedback that's both blistering and unhelpful. It was a really good class. I learned a lot.