I often like AO Scott's writing even if the almost physically perceptible strain of him trying to be awesome is sometimes wearying.  Lots of enjoyable damning with faint praise in this one, and I especially liked the multi-level ironic bits. He actually makes it sound a far sight better than the trailer does - WB marketing dept, take note.  How great would that be?  the poster emblazoned with

“THE PASSIONATE ROMANCE BETWEEN A CANNED BARTLETT PEAR AND A CUBE OF TOFU!” - New York Times

or

"WHY IT SHOULD BE SO CAUTIOUS AND TEPID IS A PUZZLE!!" - New York Times

or

“THE PREMISE SHOULD HAVE BEEN A SURE-FIRE RECIPE FOR FARCE!” - New York Times

which reminds me of a wonderful sidebar that was in Entertainment Weekly when Keanu Reeves took time off from movies to star in a production of Hamlet. The picture was of him in a Hamlet-y tunic, but the ad was mocked up to look like the "Speed" poster, and there were a few REAL blurbs added to it, including the simply spectacular:  "Reeves said all the words in the right order."

***

I kept waiting for the personal-scandals shoe to drop and it never really did (just wobbled and threatened to, a bit, toward the end).  I'm, I guess, impressed? by her restraint.