I need a technology butler. S/he needs to do these things while I do something I want to do:
-- purge my beautiful, currently-worthless blue brick aka imac bought in 2001 for over a thousand freaking dollars, moments before they came out with the alien-looking one, and help me figure out what to do with it
-- ditto desktop which I bought without realizing it ran Vista
-- show me how to browse my bb via bluetooth from my netbook
-- find my 2gb jump drive which has run off somewhere with its load of of important financial and other personal info
-- fix my printer
-- hardwire tiny discreet wall-inset speakers throughout my apt, a la the Hotel Santo Mauro which did not settle for piping our music into the bedroom and bathroom but even brought it into the walk-in closets. Dag that place was nice. That pool.

Also I'm pretty sure that amazon keeps "helpfully" spontaneously putting saved cart items through as orders without my approval. Needs investigation