It may have been mentioned previously in this space what complete ingrate devious nasty assholes my industry attracts and assiduously rewards for such qualities. Or maybe just the place I'm working for. Doubtful. Well, note to self of 11.12.13 as the day I decided I'm good and done.

One of my all-time favorite tweets:
https://twitter.com/bridger_w/status/308338591766020096

proven true yet again during my semi-(if that) annual facebook login.  Of the umpteen updates I trudged through, exactly ONE involved a person I have so much as ever even met in my life (a college friend's brother whom I met at graduation and haven't seen since).  Otherwise it was an intolerable cesspool of banality.  Yes even more so than ever.

The only way I would use fb with any regularity would be if I could talk to it, Mayday-style, and tell it exactly what I do and don't want to see, & if it paid me $10,000 every time it either failed to do something I asked or did something without asking me first.  I'd be a millionaire within days.

Cartoon at PT place: two T-Rexes at dinner. One says, "Please pass the salt." Other responds, "You know I can't." All my favorite things - talking, paggro, animals. Love it so much.

What was wrong with the first one?

Hoo dilly, another from the same font: "well, I have TWO MBAs, so." Yes? What's the rest of your sentence?

Followed by this snippet from competitor, in an unrelated conversation: "I'm not sure what to do with the extra $900 million."

Tonight at the club

Amid lots of scintillating banter by brilliant, delightful people (not being sarcastic; I need to spend more time here) and a lot of good-natured peacocking (also not being sarcastic, though possibly oxymoronic), this turd was, probably unavoidably, delivered, out of absolutely nowhere: "My family settled here in 1673." Okay.

Things not to do/say to someone who's just had a death in the family (yes all of these happened to me and/or my loved ones):

- "it's probably because you didn't take good enough care of them"

- "oh hey! Yeah, I heard." *walks away*

- launch into recitation of all the other people you know who suffered the same illness/accident/etc.

- leave them voicemail in which you crack jokes

- hit on/proposition them

- before they do, use past tense when talking about the departed

- "OMG, what are you going to do about [anything besides making it through another day without losing your mind]?!" Yes, please, frighten and alarm and cause me further anxiety; this is the best possible time as I am not already overwhelmed or anything.

- act like nothing happened - say nothing about it to the person despite seeing them every day

- ask detailed questions about treatment with a persistence that suggests they didn't do everything possible for the person the way you would have

and for fuck's sake don't "like" the Facebook post announcing the news.

ETA no this didn't just happen

I love this freak

"The titles of paintings were chosen in such a way as to inspire in the spectator an appropriate mistrust of any mediocre tendency to facile self-assurance."

After the amt of stuff smoked & margarita drunk (none of either by me), if no one plummets to their death from the spiral stairs going off this deck I will be very surprised indeed

I rarely think this and never say it, but I will now: I have been dealing with one deeply stupid person after another all day (and all night last night), & it's making me really tired.

Collecting some favorite answers to a favorite question

Well, eventually. (s much) (still the 1)

Not if I can help it. (daw)

I don't know; let's see. (funny but also *snort* typical)

My friend who laughs hysterically when I am not trying to be funny, and just blinks silently at me when I am, *literally laughed until she cried* when I said "there are only two kinds of people: people who think everyone else in the world but them is responsible for them, and people who think they are responsible for their own damn selves."

Pretty sure I've read and maybe even posted <a href=http://t.co/i868hMentR>this</a>before but it's worth repeating.  I know it's privileged and presumptuous but he does specifically acknowledge up front that he's not talking about everyone. 

I love its content and I love his writing style.

Found a lot of it rather uncomfortable because it's true.

I would guess that even non-busy people - and people who are, but actually aren't unhappy about it - reflexively claim to be, in unhappy tones, for the same reason we never otherwise claim to be happy:  the "Nobody Likes That Guy" problem - no one wants to be hated out of envy (or any other reason).  So, at the bottom, wanting to be liked.  

"What she had mistakenly assumed was her personality — driven, cranky, anxious and sad — turned out to be a deformative effect of her environment."  

Living in NY has kind of been getting to me for the last few months. I've been aware it's bothering me more than ever before and probably more than whatever "normal" may be.  Work has been bananas.  A spiral probably.

I'm going to try two experiments:

1- when asked how I am, reply, beaming, "Relaxed and happy!" whether its true or not and see what happens.  I can handle envy.  Shit ton of practice.  Bring it on.

2- spend just five mins a day doing nothing. Not wandering around the webs, not watching tv, not reading, not playing with the dog.  NOTHING. (Somewhere [a block away, most likely] KAB is keeling over of shock.)  I can count on one hand the number of times I've done this in my life -- don't even need a whole hand -- and EVERY TIME I fell asleep within 90 seconds.

Perhaps what I need more than these experiments is to get enough sleep.  Have made concerted effort over the past year or so w/ at best mixed "success".  Need to do better

Sure it's funny, but it's more interesting to me for the rare photorealistic depction (of the dog). Or maybe they're not that rare but online, as IRL, I mainly only notice the dogs, as my beloved B has theorized.

Also: great analogy for why I'm a fiscal liberal.

Lovely.  Okay so that's ONE who understands that women have the luxury of being 100% people ONLY IF they clear an attractiveness bar.  How about the rest? - and the many women who are just as brainwashed if not more so?

http://youtu.be/xPAat-T1uhE

Loved loved loved loved loved MUCH ADO. So much. The last time I so sheerly enjoyed and was so absorbed by a movie in the theater was probably MOULIN ROUGE. Perfect acting, great looking, hilarious, and the soundtrack - his "Sigh No More" matches the summer-haze, chin-up, smirking melancholy of the words so beautifully - entrancing. When it was over it really felt like departing the home and company of people I knew. LOVED.

VEEP

gets better and better! The first political show I've ever not hated watched. So funny.

"That door should be HALF its height so that people can only approach me in my office on their g.d. m.f. knees!!!"

somebody please make a blinking musical neon sign for my office that reads:  "MOST PEOPLE WORK HARDER THAN YOU DO AT MUCH LESS INTERESTING JOBS FOR A LOT LESS OF EVERY KIND OF REWARD.  YOU ARE A LUCKY DUCK"

See here's another reason I love AD.  I've seen every episode (seasons 1-3) at least a half dozen times, some many more, and I only just noticed that the kids screaming for Lucille for help.  eg: GOB mocking Buster with a chicken dance in Buster's room and hurting his ankle -> Buster screams "MOTHER!!"; season 3 finale, GOB hits on Lindsay, who grabs him by the hair & twists -> GOB screams "MOM!" 

No, please, take your time. I don't actually want you to DO what I ask, not anytime soon anyway. I have absolutely nothing to do but sit and watch your little circle-thing tick away for days on end and, as often as not, never cough up what I wanted. Also, please have a worse email search function. That isn't enterprise-critical or anything.

As soon as I qualify for a device change I am throwing this thing in the river and going back to blackberry. It's bad for my mental health.

"HOW DOES ANYBODY EVER LIKE ME???"

The thought I had today, as I always do, after meeting and immediately disliking someone and then finding out they are a fellow ENFP